I'm A Comeback Kid

It’s fair to say this past year has been one of the most hellacious of my life. 2016 seems to have sucked for everyone –– from losing some of Hollywood’s greatest legends to losing our goddamn minds at the polling place, this is the year that launched a thousand memes about the sheer garbage fire of it all.  

Behind probably only the year my parents got divorced, this year is number 2 worst ever. It could have it’s own trophy for shittiness. And it’s easy, when you’re having an unfortunate series of events, to not look on the bright side. When I’m doubled over in pain or trying to figure out how to pay exorbitant medical bills, people who talk about looking on bright sides make me want to punch them in the face. Hard.

But lately I’ve taken to being that person for myself, and as it were, it’s nearly physically impossible to punch yourself in the face. As I’m on a self-described “upswing” from my personal longest flare ever, it’s a little easier to find the bright sides. It’s easier to reflect now on the things the last year of garbage has brought me–– aside from painkillers and a geriatric bedtime.

This year has brought me new skills. I’ve gone from a girl who got dinner from her local taqueria several nights a week (and pizza rolls for the rest) to a girl who is currently multi-tasking–– writing while keeping an eye on my spinach tortellini soup. I taught myself how to cook. I joined a gym to fend off all the prednisone weight. I took up meditating to keep myself from going insane with all the time I spent in solitary, sick kid confinement. This year forced me to become an adult in ways I otherwise would have continued putting off for another decade.

This year brought back old loves. Not the literal, romantic kind because hey–– I spent most of this year chilling in pajamas and it hasn’t been super sexy. But as an English major and major book nerd, I spent the first 22 years of my life reading incessantly, before life and a full time job got in the way. Being sicker than usual brought me back to reading. I’ve read an impressive amount of books in the past year and have no intentions of slowing down anytime soon.

This year strengthened bonds. They say you find out who your friends are when times get tough, and that’s been abundantly true. I’ve solidified the fact that my “ride or dies” are actually down to be there for the dying in pain part. My best friends still want to be my best friends, even when I’m too sick to go out and be a very fun friend. I have rarely felt quite so loved as I have in the last 10 or so months.

This year taught me appreciation. I will never again view my body in the same way. I’m not saying I’m about to go train for a marathon anytime soon, but I’ve gained a new appreciation for the things I can do physically. My body is like the Little Engine That Could, working way harder than everyone else’s just to keep me functional. Since I now know what it’s like to have days (or months even) where walking up a flight of stairs is hard, I am now decidedly here to make the most of the good days–– which includes saying yes to things I never thought I would, like signing up for a ballet class, and climbing a rock wall, and planning my first trip alone abroad.

I like to think I’m still myself in all the essential, important ways. I’m just maybe a better, more grateful, better educated me. I’m never going to be one of those people running around talking about how I’m “grateful for my disease.” If I had 3 wishes with a genie right this second, wish number one would absofuckinglutely be that I wish I was healthy. But since genies seem to only exist in Disney movies, I’m accepting things and moving on, and trying to catch some bright sides along the way.

My Official List of Band-Aids

When you have a chronic, incurable disease, treatment is an interesting thing. A lot of people find treatments that put them in remission –– sometimes for months, sometimes for years. I haven’t found that magic drug yet, but because of that, I’ve found a hell of a lot of band-aids.

Band-aids are what I call the things that aren’t going to put me in remission –– they’re not a new biologic or a fancy new pill, but they’re the little products and behaviors I use in the meantime to make life bearable (or great, depending on how good the given band-aid is.)

So in honor of Crohn’s & Colitis Awareness Week, here are some of my favorite band-aids. Feel free to seek them out yourself, send them to a loved one in pain, or just add this to your list of “Things I am Buying Sam for Christmas,” since everyone clearly has a list like that.

Just imagine I'm Oprah and everything in this post is like, two thousand dollars.

David’s Tea - Detox Tea

I will swear by this tea to my grave. I think it may be intended for people with hangovers, but it calms my stomach like no other beverage available. I used to drink a ton of ginger ale in a quest to “calm my stomach,” but I think I was really just ingesting a ton of sugar. This tea is a bit pricey, like all specialty, loose-leaf teas, but I find it to be worth it because it gets me through so many terrible moments. It doesn’t have a strong taste –– it’s a green tea with some other mellow things thrown in, and it truly subsides a stomachache like nothing I’ve ever encountered.

Dr. Teal’s Epsom Salts - Eucalyptus & Spearmint

If you’ve ever done your research on epsom salts I’m probably not telling you anything new when I say Dr. Teal’s is the best. One common extraintestinal symptom of Crohn’s (and a common symptom of many other autoimmune diseases) is joint pain. Epsom salt baths work wonders to temporarily –– remember, band-aid –– relieve that pain. They are also not the kind of bath salts that make you eat a guy’s face off. Grab a bag, a pretty smelling candle, and a playlist full of Sara Bareilles and get your relaxation on. Fancy bath tub not included if, like me, you live in a city apartment.

Microwaveable Heating Pad

I have a wide variety of heating pads. I have an electric one that I love –– it provides the most heat for the longest. But sometimes you need something more portable to soothe your aches and pains, and that’s where these little microwaveable bean bag types come in. The best part? They’re all over Etsy in cute patterns and ~relaxing~ scents. I got mine here, and it's fantastic.

Gentle Yoga

When I was in the height of my latest flare, I was a blob who couldn’t do much of anything, let alone work out. That being said, if you don’t want to develop bed sores at age 24, you find a way. My way was yoga specifically for IBD, because you can find yoga for any specific purpose on YouTube. Not only is it gentle, easy movements, it also helps you gain flexibility and encourage healthy digestion. When I do it, my cats roll around on the floor next to me.

Hulu

Anyone who spends a lot of time at home –– do yourself a favor and get a Hulu membership. I also have Netflix, Amazon Video, and HBO Go. There will be days where, in spite of your best intentions, you can’t do much than zombify yourself on the couch with several heating pads. On those days, you will want a way to watch Broad City and Jane the Virgin with ease.

Insight Timer

Something that I used to think was just a joke but has actually improved my overall health immensely? Meditation. Insight Timer is a fantastic app with tens of thousands of meditations to choose from, so you can devote as much or as little time as you have. Anxious? There’s a meditation for that. Feeling a lack of confidence? There’s a meditation for that. Need help falling asleep, or waking up? There’s a meditation for that, too.