"Traveling alone is cool and not at all depressing," she said to herself as she embarked on a solo trip across the Atlantic.
I don’t often write about the gifts being ill has imparted on me, because they tend to pale in comparison to the trash heap of negatives that come with having a chronic disease.
Crohn’s has taken a lot from me over the years –– it’s minimized my social life, it’s taken a real chunk out of my self confidence, and it’s nabbed a lot of money I could have otherwise saved for my future. I’ve covered this stuff before. But I recently realized something that life with a chronic illness has given me –– and that’s contentment with being alone.
I’m not going to preach to you about how my illness is a gift that’s made me a better and more grateful person! If an autoimmune disease is a gift, it’s like a really ugly sweater your great aunt gave you without a gift receipt. So consider this post as me, stuck with this horrendous sweater, trying to find a use for it.
Seeing Othello and touring Shakespeare's Globe? Some of the coolest experiences I'll ever have. |
I spent the majority of 2016 incredibly ill and nearly bedridden. I missed a ton of work, could barely run necessary errands, and barely attended a single social outing all year. My friends and family were good about stopping by to see me, or facetiming, or sending little cheer up gifts, but the moral of the story is I spent the majority of the year alone. Not alone like, “I’m single and living alone right now because I’m a metropolitan woman in my twenties!” Alone as in, I rarely interacted with people who weren’t doctors or my cats.
There are few better ways to spend an afternoon than wandering around a big old beautiful museum –– no whispery companions required. |
I firmly believe that learning to enjoy being alone is one of the hardest things to do in life –– and if I hadn’t had to do it via immersion therapy, without a say, I might still not be comfortable spending days at a time without my people. And I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t lonely on occasion –– on those long sick days, fictional characters were pretty much my closest friends –– but if you can learn to separate out being alone from being lonely, it allows you to do amazing things.
Solo travel top tip: always have a book with you, and don't be afraid to read it at dinner. |
So whether illness drives you to spend time solo, or a breakup, or a move to a new city where you don’t know anyone –– my advice, no matter how scary it seems, it to lean in to the lonely. Get to know your damn self. Read a book, go for a walk, find a cafe you feel at home in. You’ll be a better, well-traveled, and happier person for it.